


Adora, Catra & Trauma [Full Show]

by cronaisawriter



Series: Adora, Catra & Trauma [2]
Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Analysis, Canon Compliant, Character Analysis, Child Abuse, Childhood Trauma, F/F, Gen, Meta, Multi, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Trauma, developmental trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-10
Updated: 2020-07-27
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:14:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25183846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cronaisawriter/pseuds/cronaisawriter
Summary: An Updated Analysis of how trauma effects Adora & Catra in the full She Ra show.
Relationships: Adora & Bow (She-Ra), Adora & Catra & Shadow Weaver | Light Spinner (She-Ra), Adora & Catra (She-Ra), Adora & Glimmer (She-Ra), Adora & Shadow Weaver | Light Spinner (She-Ra), Adora/Catra (She-Ra), Catra & Hordak (She-Ra), Catra & Lonnie (She-Ra), Catra & Scorpia (She-Ra), Catra & Shadow Weaver | Light Spinner (She-Ra)
Series: Adora, Catra & Trauma [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1824436
Comments: 2
Kudos: 25





	1. General C-PTSD/DTD Symptoms

**Author's Note:**

> DTD stands for Developmental Trauma Disorder, a framework that covers how developmental trauma functions and differs from adult complex trauma.

## Adora

  1. Anxiety: _The Sword pt 2, Razz, Flowers For She-Ra, The Sea Gate, In the Shadows of Mystacor, Princes Prom, No Princess Left Behind, Promise, Light Hope, The Frozen Forest, Frozen Forest, Ties That Bind, Signals, Roll With It, The Price of Power, Huntara, Once Upon a Time in the Waste, Remember, The Coronation, Flutterina, Protocol, Hero, Boys’ Night Out, Beast Island, Destiny pt ½, Horde Prime, & Launch. _
  2. Anger: _Light Hope, Ties That Bind, White Out, Once Upon a Time in the Waste, Protocol & Hero_
  3. Control needs & Perfectionism: _The Sword pt 1, Flowers for She-Ra, Razz, Princess Prom, Light Hope, The Ties That Bind, Roll With It, The Price of Power, Huntara, Once Upon a Time in the Waste, The Coronation, Flutterina, Protocol, Princess Scorpia, Mer-Mysteries, Hero, Fractures, Horde Prime, Launch, Failsafe & Heart pt ½_
  4. Depression: _Flowers For She-Ra, Light Hope, Beacon, Ties That Bind, Once Upon a Time in the Waste, Remember, The Coronation, Protocol, The Portal, Mer-mysteries, Boy’s Night Ought, Beast Island, Horde Prime, Failsafe, & Heart pt ½_
  5. Depressive Breakdowns: _Once Upon a Time in the Waste, Remember, failsafe, & Heart pt 1/2 _
  6. Emotional Dysregulation: _The Sword pt 2, Razz, Flowers for She-Ra, System Failure, The Shadows of Mystacora, Princess Prom, The Beacon, Promise, Light Hope, Roll With It, The Price of Power, Once Upon a Time in The Crimson Waste, Moment of Truth, Princess Scorpia, Mer-Mysteries, Boys’ Night Out, Hero, Fractures, Beast Island, Horde Prime, Save The Cat, Failsafe, & Heart pt ½_
  7. Feelings of isolation and self-isolation: _Razz, Light Hope, The Battle of Bright Moon, Ties That Bind, The Price of Power, Hero, Failsafe & Heart pt ½_
  8. Guilt: _No Princess Left Behind, The Beacon, Promise, Light Hope, The Battle of Bright Moon, Ties That Bind, Roll With It, Huntara, Remember, Pulse, Mer-Mysteries, Hero, Beast Island, Horde Prime, Launch, Save The Cat, & Failsafe_
  9. Hypervigilance: _The Sword pt ½, Razz, Flowers For She Ra, The Sea Gate, In The Shadows of Mystacor, Princess Prom, No Princess Left Behind, The Beacon, Promise, The Battle of Bright Moon, Frozen Forest, Ties That Bind, Signals, Roll With It, White Out, Reunion, The Price of Power, Huntara, Once Upon a Time In The crimson Waste, Remember, The Coronation, Flutterina, Pulse, Princess Scorpia, Mer-Mysteries. Boys Night Out, Hero, Fractures, Beast Island, Destiny ½, Horde Prime, Launch, Taking Control, Shot In The Dark, An Ill Wind, Failsafe, & Heart pt ½_
  10. Identity Disruption: T _he Sword pt ½, Razz, Flowers For She Ra, Promise, The Beacon, Light Hope, The Battle of Bright Moon, Ties That Bind, Roll With It, Remember, The Price of Power, Protocol, Hero, Fractures, Beast Island, Destiny pt ½, Horde Prime, Launch, Return to the fright zone, Failsafe, & Heart pt ½_
  11. Irritability & Agitation: _Razz, In The Shadows of Mystacor, Princess Prom, Light Hope, The Beacon, Ties That Bind, signals, Roll With It, Once Upon a Time in the Waste, Remember, Mer-Mysteries, & Horde Prime_
  12. Impulsivity & Recklessness: _The Sword pt ½, Razz, System Failure, In The Shadows of Mystacor, Princess Prom, The Frozen Forest, White Out, Reunion, The Price of Power, Huntara, Once Upon a Time in the Waste, Fractures, Horde Prime, Save the Cat, Shot in the Dark, & Return to the Fright Zone_
  13. Obsessive Thoughts: F _lowers for She-Ra, Razz, Princess Prom, The Beacon, Light Hope, Ties That Bind, Roll With It, The Price of Power, Once Upon a Time in the Waste, Remember, The Coronation, Princess Scorpia, Mer-Mysteries, Boys’ Night Out, Fractures, & Beast Island_
  14. Panic Attacks & Anxiety attacks: _The Sword Pt2, In The Shadows of Mystacor, No Princess Left Behind, The Beacon, Light Hope & Roll With It_
  15. Sleep Disturbances: _Razz, Flowers For She-Ra, In The Shadows of Mystacor, Horde Prime, & Coridiors_



## Catra

  1. Anger: _The Sword pt ½, Razz, The Sea Gate, In The Shadows of Mystacor, Princess Prom, No Princess Left Behind, Light Hope, Signals, White Out, Light Spinner, Reunion, Once Upon a Time in The Crimson Waste, Moment of Truth, The Coronation, Flutterina, Pulse, Princess Scorpia, Fractures & Horde Prime_
  2. Anxiety: _The Sword pt ½, Razz, In The Shadows of Mystacor, Promise, Light Spinner, Reunion, Fractures, Princess Scorpia, Horde Prime, corridors & Taking Control, _
  3. Depression: _The Sword pt ½, Promise, Light Spinner, The Price of Power, Once Upon a Time in The Crimson Waste, Moment of Truth, Flutterina, Princess Scorpia, Boys’ Night Out, Fractures, Corridors, Save The Cat, Taking Control, An Ill Wind, Return to the Fright Zone_
  4. _Dissociation: Promise, Ties The Price of Power, Moment of Truth, Princess Scorpia & Destiny pt1_
  5. Emotional Dysregulation: _The Sword pt ½, Razz, Flowers For She Ra, Promise, The Sea Gate, The Beacon, Light Hope, The Frozen Forest, Signals, White Out, Light Spinner, Reunion, The Price of Power, Once Upon a Time in The Crimson Waste, Moment of Truth, Remember, The Portal, The Coronation, The Valley of The Lost, Pulse, Flutterina, Princess Scorpia, Boys Night Out, Fractures, Destiny pt ½, Corridors, Save The Cat, Taking control, Shot in The Dark, Return to the Fright Zone, & Failsafe _
  6. Flashbacks & Nightmares: _Moment of Truth, Flutterina, Fractures, Corridors, & Taking control_
  7. Hypervigilance: T _he Sword pt ½, Razz, Flowers For She Ra, The Sea Gate, In The Shadows of Mystacor, No Princess Left Behind, Promise, Frozen Forest, Signals, White Out, Light Spinner, Reunion, The Price of Power, Once Upon a Time In The crimson Waste, Moment of Truth, Remember, The Coronation, Princess Scorpia, Fractures, Beast Island, Destiny ½, Horde Prime, Launch, Corridors, Save The Cat, Taking Control, Shot In The Dark, An Ill Wind, & Heart pt ½_
  8. Impulsive: _The Sword pt ½, Razz, Signals, White Out, The Price of Power, Once Upon a Time in The Crimson Waste, Moment of Truth , The Portal, Princess Scorpia, Boys’ Night Out, Fractures & Destiny pt1/2_
  9. Irritability & Agitation: _The Sword pt ½, The Sea Gate, Promise, Signals, The Price of Power, Once Upon a Time in The Crimson Waste, Moment of Truth, The Coronation, The Valley of The Lost, Princess Scorpia, Boys’ Night Out, Fractures, & Launch_
  10. Isolation: _The Sword pt 1, Razz, The Sea Gate, In the Shadows of Mystacor, The Beacon, Promise, The Battle of Bright Moon, Ties that bind, The Price of Power, The Coronation, Light Hope,Princess Scorpia, Fractures, Beast Island, Taking Control, Failsafe & Heart pt 1_
  11. Locus of Control Issues: _Signals, Reunion, The Price of Power, Once Upon a Time In the Crimson Waste, Moment of Truth, Remember, The Portal, Taking Control & Failsafe _
  12. Need for Control: _The Sea Gate, No Princess Left Behind, Ties that bind, Signals, Once Upon a Time in The Crimson Waste, Moment of Truth, The Coronation, The Valley of The Lost, Flutterina, Pulse, Princess Scorpia, Boys’ Night Out & Fractures, _
  13. Obsessive Thoughts: _Signals, White Out, Light Spinner, Reunion, Once Upon a Time in the Waste, Moment of Truth, Remember, The Portal, Princess Scopira, Boys’ Night Out, Fractures, Beast Island, Destiny pt ½, Corridors, Save The Cat & Taking Control_
  14. Panic Attacks and Breakdowns: _The Sword pt 2, Razz, Light Spinner, Moment of Truth, Pulse, Fractures, & Taking Control_
  15. Paranoid Thoughts: _Signals, Reunion, Moment of Truth, The Coronation, Fractures, Beast Island & Destiny pt 1_
  16. Physical Signs of Stress and Self Care Deficits: _Pulse, Fractures, Beast Island, Destiny pt ½, & Taking Control_
  17. Preoccupation with Abusers & Trauma: _Razz, Princess Prom, No Princess Left Behind, The Beacon, The Sea Gate, Promise, Light Hope, The Battle of Bright Moon, The Frozen Forest, Signals, Light Spinner, Moment of Truth, The Coronation, Flutterina, Princess Scorpia, Failsafe, & Heart pt 1_
  18. Recklessness: _The Sword pt ½, Signals, Once Upon a Time in The Crimson Waste, Moment of Truth, Destiny pt ½, & Corridors _
  19. Suicidality: _Moment of Truth, Memories & The Portal, Destiny pt 2, Corridors & Save The Cat _
  20. Trust Issues & Abandonment Issues: _Sword pt ½, Princess Prom, Promise, Light Hope, ties that bind, Signals, White Out, Light Spinner, Once Upon a Time in The Crimson Waste, Moment of Truth, Remember, The Portal, Fractures, Beast Island, Destiny pt1/2, Launch, Corridors, Save The Cat, Taking Control, The Failsafe, & Heart pt ½_




	2. Relationships (1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Looking at the primary relationships of the characters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cw: child abuse, abuse of peers, mentions of violence

## Adora:

Adora works to be of use to other people and to be liked. She wants to impress people and to be “good enough”. Her sense of self and self-worth is completely tied up in how others view her; this is based on the identity destabilization and unhealthy schemas from disorganized attachment style. Disorganized attachment is born from Shadow Weaver, her mother figure and primary attachment, was psychologically abusive and formed a person who was not always safe to return to. Adora while didn’t form a complete distrust or others in a fight way but truly flees or fawns to the person she wants to attach to. Her attunement is strong for the most part but it is easily broken. 

**Princess Alliance**

Adora doesn’t have distinct relationships to most of the princess alliance. She regards them with loyalty and affection but doesn’t seem to have attachments past the need to be the ideal of She Ra. Adora’s interactions with most of the other princesses are filtered through her identity issues. 

Adora’s interaction with Entrapta stands out the most because they have more one on one interactions and spend time on the same and on opposing sides. There are periods of stronger emotion like guilt, then a mostly apathetic confrontation to being able to work together. 

**Light Hope & Queen Angella**

Light hope and Angella both fill the void left by Shadow Weaver who is her commander and mother respectively. 

Light Hope starts being a person Adora searches out to give her some sort of answer and then continues to look to her for orders. Adora falls into a state of objectification due Light Hope treating Adora as mostly a weapon to act out her programming. Adora is generally willing to follow her and even starts to be casual with her, seen in _Protocol (4x05_ ). Adora wants to do well and be better than what she understands Mara to be starting in _Light Hope (1x12)._ Adora goes to her for answers most notably when in _The Coronation (4x01)_ Shadow Weaver reveals Adora is a First One. 

Adora feels betrayed when in Hero (4x09) she learns that being She Ra in the way Light Hope pushed her was harmful. Not only does this sever her relationship it also causes more identity issues and is a re-traumatization of betrayal trauma.

They have a confrontation in _Destiny pt 2 (4x13_ ) were Adora stands up and tries to assert her identity, and the part of Light Hope that did care for her shine through and tell Adora to shatter the sword. All of these experiences leave Adora feeling more objectified, guilty and with another betrayal wound. 

Angella stands in for the mother part of Shadow Weaver and is a healthier version. Angella starts off holding Adora not becoming emotionally close or trusting. Adora doesn’t try to get emotionally close but does search for trust. We see this in Adora’s open willingness to lose everything to rescue Glimmer _(No Princess Left Behind 1x09)_

They don’t interact much but during season 3 Adora offers respect and Angella tends to return it. In _The Price of Power (3x01)_ we see Angella protect Adora. Understanding the pain and trauma Adora went through enough to try and stop Shadow Weaver from getting to talk to Adora. 

During _The Portal (3x06)_ Angella tells Adora how brave she has been and gives her life up to protect everyone and in Adora’s place saving her life. Angella gives the parting comfort of holding Adora’s face a similar action to one Shadow Weaver uses but there is compassion behind it. She also gives the parting advice of “take care of each other” one Adora fully misunderstands. The reason they never fully attached was partially Angella’s preoccupation with her own daughter and also Adora’s internalized need to be a hero and objectification. They never gain a healthy motherly nor mentor ability to attune. These are why Adora reads her “take care of each other” wording to be Adora must take care of Glimmer. 

**Bow**

Bow and Adora generally have stable relationships, never having a moment of severe rupture in their relationships. Bow generally is friendly and supportive to Adora and most people in both their group dynamics and one-on-one bonds. In the final few episodes of season 4 and beginning of season 5, we see that Bow and Adora get along well acting as a duo. One of the main ways this dynamic show is how Bow cared for Adora when she was failing to take care of herself in _Horde Prime (5x01)_ and Launch (5x02). Bow doesn’t always understand but cares greatly and is the primary partner when it comes to dealing with First One’s technology.

They have different ways of handling situations and people like in season 4 when Adora’s is focused solely in solving her own destiny and stopping the heart whereas Bow is searching for Entrapta because he doesn’t believe in leaving “friends” behind. Seen in _Beast Island (4x11_ ) when Bow attempted to get Entrapta with a sappy speech and Adora is pragmatic. Adora also comments of Bow’s social intelligence is different from hers in _Stranded (5x4)_

Overall, Bow while not always understanding is generally supportive and able to give Adora strength via his pep talks. 

**Glimmer**

Adora and Glimmer’s relationship is generally strong and displays healthy dynamics in season 1-3 and again in season 5. During season 4 they experience an episode of relational rupture. The main issues underlying this rupture are the loss of queen Angella’s and the disparate ways they believe they ought to be leading. 

Adora was told to “take care of each other” by Angella in _The Portal (3x06)_ but interpreted this as “take care of you [Glimmer]” _(The Coronation, 4x01)_. Adora takes this seriously having spent her whole life as a protector and leader. Being a protector is a core belief of Adora’s along with being compelled to honor a woman she respected. Glimmer is deeply affected by the loss of her mother and pushed herself to properly fill her shoes as queen and be a proper general. They are both absorbed in their respective grief. 

The other layer shows up in what they do when it comes to the war against the Horde. Adora is working to be the concept of She-Ra this can sometimes lead to blind spots on what others are doing. Glimmer on the other hand often misunderstands Adora’s need to be She Ra and sometimes forgets how to explain her needs. Glimmer is also more willing to play real war where Adora is in the magic realm. 

These issues cause strife up until Glimmer angrily pushes Adora too far in _Boys’ Night Out (4x08)_ blaming her for the loss of Angella. Adora is understandably hurt and then tries to hyper-focus on having to save the day. She falls back on the pattern of implicit memories of being the martyr and hero. 

Glimmer’s angry words mirror Catra’s from their past. Centering on needing to be the hero. With both of them, it’s a slight misread of what Adora actually needs to do. She does need to be the hero, the leader, and save the day but not because she is self-important but because that is what she has built her entire identity on from when she was a child. She has experienced objectification her entire life and changing from this perspective isn’t something easily done. Glimmer and Adora both feel the need to prove something and carry weight too big for them and Glimmer lashes out while Adora lashes in making Adora obsessed with saving everyone 

Glimmer tries hard to support Adora in season 5 and is willing to do repair work from her mistreatment in _Boys Night Out (4x08)_ and her mistakes in _Destiny pt ½ (4x12-13)_. Adora is willing to let Glimmer back in easily, some of that might be Adora not focusing on her own hurt but was also healing. 

Glimmer and Adora went through a deep time of grief and strife and came out with a strong bond and maintained their care for each other. 

**Catra**

Adora’s relationship with Catra is the most defining one. This relationship depicts a romance torn apart by war as well as showing two children in an abusive family. This dynamic is part of the complexity of their attachments. 

Catra was Adora’s primary attachment following Shadow Weaver, being her mother. From being a baby Catra was her primary relationship and her only source of love. In conjunction with their attachments they fill roles in an abusive family, Adora plays the golden child and Catra is the scapegoat. Shadow Weaver and The Horde pushed Adora to feel responsible for protecting Catra. Another layer to this is how Shadow Weaver set up Catra as essentially belonging to Adora _(Promise 1x11)._

Adora and Catra’s disparate views on Shadow Weaver and the Horde system caused strife between them as Adora wanted to be the leader, hero and was often given this title which forced to Catra feel sidelined. Adora is not always aware of what she is doing or how she is affecting Catra emotionally as well as struggling to understand Catra _(Sword Pt 1 1x01, Promise 1x11, Corridors 5x03)_. But the intention isn’t to be upsetting to Catra but to fulfill her duty and show her love. 

Adora has attachment trauma caused by her upbringing, and she heavily shares this with Cata to be inherently disorganized and breeds traumatic bonding, neither is at fault. After their relational rupture in the start of season 1, Adora continuously wants to be with Catra still as she is her primary attachment and someone she loves deeply. 

However, even with the attachment trauma related to each other, we see Adora be willing to maintain some boundaries making Catra open up to her in the end. Putting her needs first after The Portal incident. _(Remember & Portal 3x05-6). _

We see the relationship’s strength in _Save The Cat (5x05_ ) Adora being able to break through the effects of the medical and psychological abuse and showing both strength and vulnerability. In _Taking Control (5x06)_ we get some of the strongest relationships scenes of Adora meeting Catra halfway but requiring Catra offering back the strength and vulnerability Adora gave. ( _Save The Cat & Taking Control 5x05-6)_

In the next few episodes, we see them bond and Adora fall back into a mostly easy connection with her closest friend. In _Failsafe (5x11)_ we see Adora being willing to admit she needs Catra and tries to rebuff Shadow Weaver’s attempted manipulation of their connection. We see Adora lose so much strength when Catra leaves again. Their relationships deep connection and Catra’s ability to remind Adora she has something to live for ends up saving the day in _Heart pt 2(5x13)_

While I deeply enjoy their relationship there are some risks in it. Traumatic bonding and enmeshment are the base of their relationship and this has a higher probability to cause relational rupture down the line. Of the two Adora’s side is a bit healthier as Adora has some degree of identity without Catra and has formed attachments to Bow and Glimmer that are more stable. If Adora continues to heal from her need to suffer from others and maintains healthy connections outside I don’t think it will be inherently traumatic. 

## Catra

**General**

Catra has a disorganized attachment style. Her ability to attach was compromised due to her primary attachment object being Shadow Weaver as her Mother. Her approach and avoid messages came from the same place, and any adults she would have tried to connect with would have been cold and militaristic. Children have to have a safe place and person to return to as they explore but Catra never had this, and this broken trust and attunement ability she struggles to attune to almost anyone else. Another layer is like many disorganized people she can experience enmeshment where identity and core ideas become overlapped with another person. 

**Cadets**

The other cadets treated Catra poorly growing up, shown when Adora leaves Lonnie Says “ _Adora’s not here to protect you anymore_ ” _(Razz 1x03.)_ At first, Catra generally distances herself from them but as she sits in her place of relative power she starts to turn the bullying and abuse back to them. This is an abusive turnaround and not common from nowhere even if Kyle tried to say so telling her they “ _used to be friends_ ” _(Destiny pt 1 4x12)_ this isn’t what happened. In flashbacks in _Promise (1x11)_ Catra was excluded from the group and catra often got in fights with them (Corridors 5x03)

Next to Scorpia, Lonnie is the person who suffers from Catra’s abusive behavior. We see this especially in _Protocol (4x05) & Fractures-Destiny pt1 (4x10-12)_ as Catra ends up putting her paranoid thoughts, anger and fear on her after the loss of Scorpia. As mentioned above this is a bit of a turnaround but more prevalently the pathway of abuse from Hordak above Catra to Catra on Scorpia and Lonnie. 

**Bow & Glimmer**

We see them interact to some degree in _Princess Prom (1x08) & No Princess Left Behind (1x09)_ and it’s mostly in passing. Their first proper interaction comes in _Ties That Bind (2x02)_ where Catra holds most of the power and only becomes dysregulated when Glimmer mentions Adora. But in the end, we see Catra at her most in control and manipulative and Glimmer’s is willing to act out. Catra wins the interaction through her manipulation with Entrapta.

In _Destiny pt 2 (4x13)_ we see Glimmer and Adora both fall apart at the end. Glimmer is the one who sees Catra in a state of completely giving up in a fold state showing willingness to die. Catra is willing to save Glimmer when attacked by Horde Prime. 

During episodes, _Horde Prime - Corridors (5x01-3)_ Glimmer and Catra both deals with isolation and are working for pure survival. They handle it in disparate ways Glimmer tries to be the archetypal queen needing to stay strong for her own perception of self. While Catra uses her implicit need to protect herself through playing the game of the person in power. Catra and Glimmer share a few pleasant moments where they discuss what they would do on Etheria offering a level of support. Catra is willing to save Glimmer to prove she has some good in her and for Adora.

At the end of _Taking Control 5x06 and Shot in The Dark 5x08_ , we see Bow and Glimmer being generally positive and making jokes with Catra. They offer positivity only picking fun in good faith. Catra struggles with this due to her own hypervigilance but is willing to return this kindness. In _An Ill Wind (5x09)_ they work together in a fine way to get what they want. They all share the love for Adora that will drive them to the ends of their own strength showing the main thing they have in common. ( _Save The Cat-Heart pt 2 5x05-13)._

**Entrapta**

Entrapta is an interesting case. From _The Beacon-Signals (1x10-2x03_ ) Catra and Entrapta share a relationship that starts with manipulation from Catra in saying that the princess would abandon her to get her on her side, this is also based on Catra’s pain _(The Beacon 1x10_ ). They work decently together but Catra continues to struggle to form a healthy friendship finding Entrapta a bit grating and her generalized trust deficits. Catra can be mean to her but still offers some protection to Entrapta. ( _Signals 2x03)_. Their relationship totally breaks down from Catra’s perspective as of _Light Spinner (2x06_ ) as she feels replaced in Hordak’s eyes, replaying her base trauma from her attachment to Shadow Weaver. 

Entrapta is unaware of Catra’s trauma or her pattern of harming others to handle her own pain. This leaves Entrapta vulnerable, and she is only fully aware when she is banished to Beast Island by Catra in _Moment of Truth (3x04)._

They interact fully again in _Taking Control (5x06)_ where Catra’s hypervigilance and recent medical trauma has her fearful of what Entrapta’s will do to her when removing the chip. After Entrapta is able to remove Catra is willing to apologize and Entrapta easily accepts it. 

**Double Trouble**

Double Trouble and Catra have a relationship built-in transactional stating in their first meeting in _The Valley of the Lost (4x02)_. This continuous but Double Trouble is also able to make Catra laugh and Catra finds her easy to communicate with as there isn’t a need for the same attachment patterns as normal relationships. _(Flutterina-Princess Scorpia 4x03-6)._

Double Trouble then is captured and Catra becomes worried about being abandoned by them as part of an episode of depression and panic episode after having been left by Scorpia _(Fractures 4x10)_. Catra is surprised to see Double Trouble and Double Trouble notices how broken up catra was and is happy to point out Catra’s fears of abandonment. _(Destiny pt 1)_ Double Troubles transactional nature turns against Catra in the same episode as they sell out Catra for their own safety. 

Double Trouble can’t help but get in a final scene pointing out to Catra how she has driven everyone [Adora, Scorpia, Shadow Weaver & Hordak] away and that she has been wearing a mask this whole time. 

**Scorpia**

Scorpia suffers from the fall out of Catra’s symptoms dealing with Catra’s tendency to replay her abuse. Catra is never fully able to let Scorpia in, while Scorpia desperately wants Catra to like her. Scorpia has an intense crush on Catra and becomes blind to the abusive behavior due to her self perception as a good friend. Catra is also blinded to the kindness being offered to her due to a warped perception of others and her leaning into the abusive programming of her childhood. 

Throughout season 1 we see Catra generally keep Scorpia at an arm’s length but Scorpia becomes attached when Catra shows her any attention like in _Princess Prom (1x08)_ , though Catra is upset about Adora and is default supportive of Scorpia. In season 2 we see Scorpia be very helpful to Catra and Catra does start to lean on her in _Signals (2x03_ ) and Catra even starts to recognize the affection in _White Out (2x05)_. But fear and repeating abusive behaviors damage her relationships to a more abusive footing as Catra lashes out due to Shadow Weaver and Hordak’s behavior. 

We have two important moments in season 3’s episode _Once Upon A Time in the Crimson Waste (3x03_ ) and _Moment of Truth (3x04)_. In _Once Upon A Time in the Crimson Waste (3x03)_ we see how their relationship could be, Scorpia noting that this is the first time she’s seen Catra even be happy and that she could leave. Any chance of comfort is broken when Catra suffers a breakdown and lashes out. In a _Moment of Truth (3x04)_ Catra hurts Entrapta deeply and threatens Catra followed by almost killing everyone in a moment of suicidality and homicidal tendencies. This fractures their relationships irrevocably. 

Season 4 Catra spirals into only focusing on winning the war and being willing to use every one. She lashes out insulting Catra and putting her as her stress relief demeaning her. Scorpio recognized this finally in _Princess Scorpia (4x06)_ telling Catra’s she’s a bad friend, a deep insult from Scorpia. This is one of the final straws that breaks Catra’s fragile hold on functionality in _Boys’ Night Out (4x08)._

Catra realizes the harm she’s done in season five though the relationship is less active in the finale season. But it was formative in moving Catra to a place where she could be better. 

**Hordak**

Hordak and Catra’s relationship changes extremely throughout the show. In season one and presumably throughout their childhood he is a powerful influence that guides their actions but is more of a force than a person. He takes Catra into the higher sections of the power structure seeing her promise in being a force captain which is hugely important to Catra as it validates her need for attention and recognition. 

Throughout season 2 he acts as a secondary abuser to Shadow Weaver, she seeks out his approval wanting to be able to be on the same level with him protecting herself from the insinuation she lacks his trust. ( _2x01-3, White Out 3x05 & Light Spinner 3x06)_ Catra shows fear to him and even tries to protect Entrapta from him originally in _Signals (2x03)_. We see her also be very hurt by Hordak choosing Entrapta over her throughout season two. 

Due to Catra still being very attached to Shadow Weaver we see Catra attempt to protect Shadow Weaver but at this point, she is still acting in fear of Hordak trying to avoid his anger at her culminating in him catching, assaulting and imprisoning her in _Reunion (2x07)_. 

After this we see Catra be apathetic towards anything going on with him being in a state of depression and anger. She is reckless and is willing to call him out for being a coward and risk whatever he will do, breaking through the programmed fear. _(The Price of Power 3x01 Once Upon A Time in The Crimson Waste 3x03)_

Catra lies to Hordak during her break down to be able to pull the lever _(Moment of truth 3x04)._

When they regroup after The Portal incident Hordak tries to continue using fear of Catra, but she overcomes the past fear almost completely and takes him on breaking his suit and partially disabling him. _(The Coronation 4x01)_ She uses her knowledge of her own power and puts them on a more equal footing. Catra is the right hand but equal from his perspective until _Destiny pt1 (4x12)_ where Hordak Says “ _we will control all of Etheria_ ” and “ _victory is ours_ ”. However, even this equality is partially a facade due to Hordak being an abuser to Catra for years and treating her as under him up until the last few episodes and Catra using the lie about Entrapta to claw back power after he rejected her before.

Catra starts to identify with Hordak telling him “ _you and me we don’t need anyone_ ” _(Princess Scorpia 4x06)_. She is trying to get him to finish their mission and has rejected any connection to others but in her rant, she is also still trying to prove herself saying “t _hey’ll all see_ “. This is similar to how Hordak wants to not be seen as defective. This identification also extends to her tendencies of following patterns of abusive behavior, at the height of identification her abusive behavior is at its worst. 

The identification and manipulation come to a head when they fight in _Destiny pt 2 (4x12)_ after Double Trouble reveals Catra’s lies. The fight is both a power struggle and a depressive and anger-fueled breakdown. At least on Catra’s part, the outcome is similar to what happened after the portal _(Once Upon a Time in the Waste-The Portal 3x03-6)_. Hordak’s anger was comes from him placing some a level of trust in Catra and her rejecting that.

This fight is reckless and leaves Catra mentally and physically battered, an important moment that sets up her actions in season 5. 

During her imprisonment with Horde Prime, they connect over her being able to tell him from the other Horde clones. They also both suffer similar religious and medical assaults from Horde Prime. They have little interaction after their plotlines diverge. Though both deal with ideas of autonomy. 

**Adora**

Cat’s entire world is centered around Adora. Her continued existence was tied to her relationship to Adora from Shadow Weaver’s perspective (Promise 1x11). As a child, Adora was her entire world and the only person to ever show her kindness. This leads her to experience an extreme enmeshment and traumatic bonding that leads to identity and relational struggles. 

An early difference between them is the way Catra never had an ideological commitment to the Horde vs Adora who had a belief system to break. This difference is one of the first cracks in their relationship to Catra viewing the betrayal of Adora in personal terms. Due to the fact, Catra finds the idea that the Horde was hurting people obvious due to horrendous abuse she suffered as a child so Adora left her and downplayed their trauma in one go. _(The Sword pt ½ 1x01-2)_

Catra spends much of the first season splitting on Adora going between wanting her back, protecting her, shoving her away and eventually proclaiming false independence. This is a trait of her symptom pattern due to her developmental trauma. A slightly less extreme splitting episode happens after they became close again _(Return to the Fright Zone-Heart pt 1 5x10-12)_

In her most violence breakdown in _Remember (3x05) & The Portal (3x06) _where Catra’s locus of control has broken down to being all about Adora’s actions. Adora rejects the blame and this forms another form of rupture in their connection. 

Catra never fully stops being dependent on Adora for her sense of self and actions. She heavily places weight on what Adora did, what Adora would think, how to get Adora’s attention and ways to prove she’s better. Even when angry at her Catra has a need to base decisions off showing Adora her worth and strength _(Princess Prom 1x08 & Princess Scorpia 4x06). _

In the final arc of the show Catra has positive changes in her behavior and emotions. However, she still hasn’t fully learned boundaries; her decision to change was spurred on by flashbacks to her co-dependence on Adora in her childhood _(Corridors 5x03)_. Their relationship starts to heal through Adora keeping up a level of boundaries and Catra being willing to admit she needs Adora _(Taking Control 5x06)_. Throughout the rest of the season, Catra’s behavior is still centered around how Adora views Catra in their ability to work together and then the rupture after fearing Adora would choose her duty over Catra again and the misperception Adora lacked as strong feelings for Catra as she did for her. _(Failsafe & Heart pt 1 5x11-12)_

We see their relationship mature over this last season and the romantic aspect taking centre stage ending with their kissing help both of them maintain a connection reality in _The Heart pt 2 (5x13)_

Her love for Adora is important and something that kept her strong and can be healing. However, the relationship is still subject to dysfunction due to Adora the key to Catra’s core beliefs and schemas. Learning to have their strong connection be a strength while maintaining boundaries will be the key to this relationship being healing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Love comments!


	3. Relationship To Primary Abuser

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Looking at the relationship between Cara & Shadow Weaver and Adora and Shadow Weaver

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: child abuse, psychological abuse, physical abuse
> 
> I have a word on the "redemption" of Shadow Weaver in the end notes

## Catra

Catra bases her identity around Shadow Weaver second only to Adora in power she has over her emotional states. Shadow Weaver abused Catra for essentially her entire life through psychological, emotional, and physical ways. We see her use her magic to immobilize Catra, terrorize her, and physical grab Catra throughout the show.

Starting from a young age she insulted and degraded Catra and said Catra's worth is based on rather Adora wants her. A key quote stated in _Promise (1x11 )_

> _Shadow Weaver:“You have never been anything more than a nuisance to me! I've kept you around this long because Adora was fond of you, but if you ever do anything to jeopardize her future, I will dispose of you myself.”_

I believe this sets up the main dynamic better than anything.

Catra sees herself as worth nothing to Shadow Weaver, as only existing in relation to Adora and as always under threat. Catra deeply internalized this view of only mattering in how she measures up to Adora but continuously wanted to be more than a nuisance to Shadow Weaver. Catra is constantly pulled when it comes to shadow weaver between wanting love and being afraid, the essence of her disorganised attachment.

Up until Catra gained the right-hand man status to Hordak she was consistently in fear of Shadow Weaver. And afterwards, she didn't stop basing her worth on Shadow Weaver's perceptions.

Starting in season one Shadow Weaver and Catra show a mostly typical older child and abusive parent dynamic. Catra is willing to test boundaries but only so much. In _The Sword pt 2 (1x02 )_ she says 

> _Catra: “Shadow Weaver is freaking out. It'd be funny if she weren't such a terrible person ”_

showing she has accepted and can have humour about the situation. This continues for a while in The Beacon (1x10) we see dissonance all at once saying she doesn’t need Shadow Weaver, seeks her approval, and even tries to offer comfort to Shadow Weaver.

In Light Hope (1x12) we see the first milestone in this dynamic with Catra overtaking Shadow Weaver in the social hierarchy. However, this doesn’t change the fact that Catra still feels a need to be close to Shadow Weaver and to base her value off of her. She continuously goes to talk to Shadow Weaver to try and prove she’s become better but only ends up with Catra subjecting herself to more of Shadow Weaver’s abuse.

In _Signals (2x03)_ she bases what she should be doing off of what Shadow Weaver would have done. 

> Catra _“I bet Shadow Weaver didn’t have to deal with any of this"_

After this she goes to Shadow Weaver for the answers. Her stated autonomy isn’t present and we see Catra still seeing Shadow Weaver as the proper adult.

One of the most impactful moments takes place in _Light Spinner (2x06)_. In this episode, we see Catra deeply needs Shadow Weaver to love her and is protective over her mother. We can see Catra’s fear and unresolved attachment needs from her childhood fighting over how she should act. She has spent this season setting and then breaking her boundaries due to deeply wanting to be loved and respected. Catra is easily manipulated by Shadow Weaver’s semi-kind words and some of the only soft-touch she gets [before reuniting with Adora in season 5].

When Catra confronts Shadow Weaver Catra asks the questions every abused kid wants to ask:

"Why was I treated like that?" and "why was I never good enough?"

Shadow Weaver's response is one that is so common and destructive. "I suffered, so I think that’s what you ought to as well," and “You were never as good as your sibling” or in this case Adora.

Catra rejects some of this explanation and then returns another abused child question: "what could I have done? I was just a kid"

Shadow Weaver mostly brushes this question and Shadow Weaver maintains her power by knowing her child so well. Shadow Weaver hits where it hurts, pointing out that she's being made second best and replaced again. She plays on Catra feeling less than and being so scared of being abandoned to get what she wanted, a way out. This breaks Catra's resolve strongly; we see her spiral through hypervigilance, anxiety and depression.

We see how much this affected Catra when Adora’s explained Shadow Weaver went to the bright moon in _Once Upon a Time in the Waste (3x03 )_. Catra interprets this as Shadow Weaver abandoning her for Adora triggering a dissociative episode and leading into her suicide/homicide attempt.

The next time we see them together is in _Failsafe (5x11)_ . Catra’s immediate reaction to her being there is to move into hyperarousal of fight mode and then into flight and freeze. She is afraid and angry still, but she has finally put up more of a barrier, however, her presence still causes Catra to fear the loss of Adora.

Catra is deeply triggered by the touch of Shadow Weaver and it leaves her in a state of heightened flight response. This experience also brings out her older protective instincts we saw in season 1 and late-season 2 due to the way she knows Adora can get hurt like she’s been hurt by Shadow Weaver. Catra overhears what she thinks is Adora giving into Shadow Weaver setting up the next set of actions in _The Heart pt 1 &2 (5x12-13)_ . Causing Catra to leave due to the manipulation she knows she’s experiencing.

When they next meet Catra is fully able to stand up to her stating it was no longer about her, a very strong statement. Even if she is still clearly hurt by the abandonment. Shadow Weaver is willing to help due to complex reasons, wanting to save the world as that’s the “side” she chose, and some degree of responsibility for her daughters even if it's twisted and more about performing and then anything resembling love. Catra is affected by this crying at the loss of her mother. We don’t get to know much about this fallout but it would be as complex as the history of adult children of abusive parents usually are.

## Adora

Adora's relationship to Shadow Weaver, her mother and commander, is characterized by manipulation, fear and agitation. Shadow Weaver made her the golden child, the next hero and leader, responsible for others way too early and as an object to be used for power. All of these became the core ideas and schemas that Adora built her life on.

Adora lacked direct physical/magical abuse from Shadow Weaver but experienced a severe psychological and emotional abuse. An example is her being forced to watch and being blamed for the physical/magical abuse of Catra _(Promise 1x11)_ . During their childhood, we see that the abuse worked to internalise the views of shadow weaver which gave Shadow Weaver an intense and continuous force in her life even when not present.

In _The Sword pt1 (1x01)_ we see how Shadow Weaver wanted her to be the next force captain and believed her to be the best of the children she raised. We can tell Adora wanted to be the best having internalized these desires. Adora believed what she was taught wholesale on the ideological front as well and losing that belief when seeing the harm of war causes the first rupture in her connection to Shadow Weaver.

In the _Shadows of Mystacor (1x07)_ has a few key moments. One is Adora admitting Shadow Weaver did “mom stuff” which shows Adora understands Shadow Weaver as her primary attachment figure, ie the mother. Another key moment of this episode is Adora rejecting Shadow Weaver’s control for the first time. She verbally states her autonomy, affirms that the pain is not her fault and that Shadow Weaver shouldn’t get to decide her life. Adora physically fights Shadow Weaver off and protects her new life, something that is one of the most powerful moments in their relationship. This is a rejection of not only her abuser but the life she was taught to want. She is choosing a new healthier life. This is solidified in after the confrontation she allows her friends to support her.

In _No Princess Left Behind (1x09)_ Adora is physically assaulted and violated mentally by her mother figure. This is an attempt to try and bring her back under control. Something we know she has been trying to do this whole time, a very visceral moment of how much Shadow Weaver believed she owned Adora. This is a harsh and traumatic event for Adora.

We don’t see them interact together fully until T _he Price of Power (3x01)_. We see Adora be willing to help Shadow Weaver both due to her ingrained responsibility and she doesn’t want to see her mother figure die. Adora also needs to know what’s going on and Adora is scared to not have some control in the situation. This fear of being out of control brings Adora to interact with her abuser.

Adora is also more confident that she won’t be directly manipulated anymore. She has learned most of Shadow Weaver's tactics and isn’t vulnerable enough for them to work. The conversation they have here shows this personal growth Adora has experienced.

> _Shadow Weaver: “I knew you were different. You were...”_
> 
> _Adora: “- Special? No, what you always told me was that I didn't matter. I was special only as long as I obeyed you.”_

However, the conversations between them also break the precarious hold on some sense of self Adora gained over the past through SHadow Weaver revealing she is a first one. This adds self confusion and distances her from others. This is important because her connection to others is the most powerful grounding tool Adra has learned to have.

Throughout this season Adora is continually agitated and stressed about Shadow Weaver being allowed in her safe space of Bright Moon. In _Pulse (4x04)_ we see Adora be upset about Glimmer having asked for magic help from Shadow Weaver. She is understandably afraid of Shadow Weaver’s power and is scared of losing another friend to the damage Shadow Weaver caused. Shadow Weaver is a walking trigger to her childhood trauma leaving her implicit memories of shadow weaver as a figure of pain, magic as bad and both as a threat to friends on continuously.

In _Princess Scorpia (4x06)_ Shadow Weaver continues to cause problems for Adora even when not there as her Black and White thinking on magic and will to keep shadow weaver from having control feed into the relational struggles Adora and Glimmer are having.

In _Mer-Mysteries (4x07)_ we see Adora and Shadow Weaver interact and Adora is sure that Shadow Weaver is the spy and is in deep pain over the fact she believes she is hurting Glimmer. However, we see them take Shadow Weaver’s advice because even Adora can admit Shadow Weaver is great at manipulating others.

We see their next big moments in _Failsafe (5x11)_ Shadow Weaver is willing to use Adora as a tool again, just like she had done her whole life. Shadow Weaver also works hard to break down any sense of autonomy Adora has and her newly healed connection to Catra, someone who would push back on Shadow Weaver in the most knowing way. These acts are harmful and while Adora tries to push back on Shadow Weaver multiple times the painful truth is that Shadow Weaver still has a power over her. While her attempts to use the comfort/assault patterns fail, Adora does need to try and save Etheria so the internal and external objectification continues.

In _Heart pt 1 (5x12)_ we see Adora talking with the mirage of Mara. Mara is trying to get Adora to want to stay alive, to have self-worth, to take her own needs into account and to give herself grace. Adora herself is arguing back that she doesn’t have value on her own, she only matters in how she can be useful to others. Adora’s words echo Shadow Weaver of her having to be She-Ra and that she should be willing to die for it. Adora’s carrying this self-harming objectified view within her and it’s so defining of their dynamic.

This story ends in Shadow Weaver’s death, a complicated moment where Adora is clearly devastated by what happens and was almost helped by Shadow Weaver to be able to use the failsafe. The complications show through in her losing her mother, almost dying herself, and in an abuser doing one nice thing. This moment is complicated visually, narratively and relationally and is a good incapsulation of the lack of resolve abusive relationships with adult children can feel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't believe shadow weaver is redeemed or a good person for her sacrifice. I think her reasons were complex but I don't believe she has ever had or a healthy love for her "daughters". I don't think we should consider this worthy of having a forgiveness for her actions based on one singular action. Once action doesn't outweigh years of abuse and trauma.


	4. Identity formation and Core Beliefs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An analysis of the identity issues and core beliefs that Adora and Catra carry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: Child Abuse & Canon typical violence

## Adora

Adora’s core beliefs are centred around the world being unsafe and the idea that making it safe is her responsibility. This is due to her disorganized attachment born from childhood abuse and trauma. Her cognition is anchored to these ideas and the ability to detach herself from this deep responsibility is lacking. Core beliefs of instability and lack of safety leave Adora with underlying anxiety and dysregulation.

Adora’s sense of self generally just never fully formed, it’s destabilised, detached and dependent. Along with this she lacks full autonomy and has deep codependency on others for any continuity of self. Adora also has very little self-worth not attached to her ability to succeed in being a hero to others, which causes her to objectify herself. Her thoughts often become wrapped around helping others and a drive to always “fix it”. This leaves her with little sense of self and tendencies to give to much of herself to others to the point of self-harm. 

In season one we see how she switched from having her sense of self is based on being Force Captain to being based around being a good enough She Ra in _Sword pt 1/2 (1x01-2)._ When Adora is scared she automatically runs her belief of the world as unsafe and unstable activated. This fear causes her to go to Madame Razz, someone she doesn’t even know, to ask for help not just practically but is begging to know who she is now that she is She Ra. _(Razz, 1x03)_

In _Flowers For She Ra (1x04)_ Adora's identity issues and self-doubt are triggered by the behaviour of the residents of Perfuma's kingdom. Adora is scared to live up to being the She Ra of the past and doesn’t want to show her face as Adora believes herself to not be enough. 

During _No Princes Left Behind (1x09)_ and _The Beacon (1x10),_ we see how Adora has structured her sense of self as being a hero and giving herself to others. She is filled with guilt and confusion, the core structures she built her world around is damaged when she can not successfully play her role of being an object used by others. 

In _Promise (1x11)_ we see how this concept started in her childhood having been set up to have to act like the protector to others to not lose those she loves and to not lose the attention of her mother. The core beliefs of the world being fundamentally unsafe were set up by the violence of her mother and the focus on war. The memories show that her identity was driven by her connections to others and how hard Adora worked to gain any self-esteem. Her need to be a hero is also present in how she did act as the protector for Catra as a child multiple times and continues to want to be the hero to Catra now though not always conscious. 

We also see the current dilemma she has in this fight being torn between the idea of becoming She Ra and her attachment to Catra and her past. This is partially born from manipulations past and present which adds layers to her identity issues going forward. Adora doesn’t know what she wants and can’t balance her love of Catra with her newly constructed self as She Ra. I think we can also infer she is also torn in a more normal sense between her new friends and her old ones. 

With Light Hope we see her begging for answers as to how to fix it and how to save Glimmer, which she blames herself for. This guilt is exacerbated by the guilt that was built into her schemas from childhood. Adora’s need to fix it, guilt and fear become manipulated by Light Hope who tries to convince her to cut herself off from her friends to save them. Adora rejects some of the self-isolation but is still basing her core belief of self on She Ra missing part of Swift Wind’s comment about her friends being there not because she’s She Ra, but because they care deeply for Adora as a whole person. An issue of basing worth of being useful to others that is deeply part of Adora’s identity. _(Light Hope 1x12)_

In _The Battle of Bright Moon (1x13)_ we see Adora both separate her selfhood from She Ra making a dissociated self-concept but also put her value on rather she could save everyone on her own. 

> _Adora: I don't want you risking yourselves._
> 
> _She-Ra can do this alone. This is what she's for._
> 
> _Bow: Not even She-Ra can take out_
> 
> _an army on her own._
> 
> _Adora: Then what good is she?_

Throughout _Ties That Bind (2x02),_ we see Adora struggle with feeling like she is worthwhile and feels the need to prove that she can be a better She Ra then Mara. Adora’s identity and self-esteem and schemas are tied up with being She Ra and being the proper person others need. Feelings of deep confusion and guilt as well drive obsessive behaviours throughout her attempts to fix the tower. She gains a bond with Swift Wind through this crisis which serves her well going forward, another moment where being able to connect with others grounds Adora.

During roll with it Adora’s hypervigilance, panic, control issues are triggered when her core belief of the world being unsafe and dangerous are activated. Her Identity is tied up with this fear and hypervigilance, making the dysregulation run very deep. _(Roll With It 2x04 )_

During _The Price of Power (3x01) t_ he identity Adora had tried to build up throughout season 1 & 2 and some of the stability she had gained is broken down when she learns about her history and her status as a First One. While she had never learned to separate herself from how she can serve others, this revelation still breaks a degree of stability of her connection to others. We see her bolt and look for answers from Light Hope to re-ground herself and try and lessen the dislocation and dissociation of her identity. 

Adora gains some distance and boundary in her self concept in her interaction with Catra in _(Portal 3x06)_

> _Catra: Let’ face it all of this is your fault. If you hadn’t gotten captured your sword wouldn’t have opened the portal. If you hadn’t gotten the sword and been the world’s worst She Ra, None of this would have happened. Admit it Adora, the world would still be standing if you had never come through that portal in the first place. You made me this. You took everything from me. You broke the world and it is all your fault._
> 
> _Adora: No it’s not. I didn’t make you pull the switch. I didn’t make you do anything. I didn’t break the world, but I am gonna fix it. And you, you made your choice. Now live with it._

However, this gained boundary from Catra is paired with a reinforcement of Adora having to be the saviour of others and to protect others. It also lines up with her need to follow her density to build a structure of self and try and soothe her deep fears. 

> _Angella: And you’ll come back too right? [From removing the sword to save the dimension]_
> 
> _Adora: I have to do this. It’s my destiny._
> 
> _Angella: Oh, Adora, no. This is not it._
> 
> _Adora: But...this is the only way to fix things._
> 
> _.-----_
> 
> _Angella: You inspired us. You inspired me. Not because it was your destiny, but because you never let fear stop you. And now I choose to be brave._
> 
> _Adora: No your majesty. Angella._
> 
> _Angella: Take care of each other. (Portal 3x06)_

[In this scene we see Angella gives Adora kind physical contact, something powerful for Adora from a guiding and maternal figure. Adora has to watch Angella die, a re-traumatizing event]

This interaction is a similar situation to what we see at the end of the show with The Heart. We see how Adora acts self-sacrificial to suicidal when giving the idea she must fulfil the needs of others. This event compounds how she sees herself as a hero and martyr, an issue that lasts. It’ also important to note how Adora turns Angella words of “take care of each other” to “take care of you [Glimmer _]”(The Coronation 4x01)_

Adora continues to struggle with her identity due to her history and her attachment of identity to her status as She Ra and a hero. Her continued habit of trying to give more than she has to others gives her a lot of stress _(season 3-4)._ Adora also tries to get answers from Light Hope on this issue and with questions about the weapon Mara had and what She Ra means. Adora never fully gets these answers. _(Protocol 4x05)_

Adora also seeks answers from Mara. Adora has attached her identity to Mara making this deeply core to how she handles the stressors of her life. This attachment starts with her understanding of Mara as someone she needs to be better then and transitions to someone she has to carry on the legacy of. This displays how she attaches her identity to others, which started with Shadow Weaver & Catra, and how she lacks a core self so she is structuring everything from the ground up. _(Seasons 2-5)_

Adora seeks answers during her struggle with how to save others from the heart and Light Hope from Madame Razz _(Hero 4x09)._ Her identity constructed Adora being a hero and her connection to She Ra as the saviour of Etheria is part of what disrupts Adora’s relationship to Glimmer _(Fractures 4x10)._ A feeling of not being able to live up to what She Ra needs to be and how to be this hero is brought out by the influence of the degraded tech on Best Island. Fears of not being enough some of her strongest fears and stressors _(4x11)._

Her fight against The Heart in _Destiny (4x12-13)_ is driven by this need to break her identity from being the one who would hurt Etheria. These actions shatter her status as She Ra for a period of time something that causes Adora severe distress. This loss of being the most heroic of her group causes her to be too rash and causes herself bodily and mental distress _(Hore Prime & Launch 5x01-2). _

When Adora regains her ability to be She-Ra she accepts this back strongly working to be able to access her again. We see a lot here of how she is both attached to being She Ra as part of who she has to be to save others but also sets this part of her apart from her. Holding She-Ra as a dissociated part of self, I believe this is due to seeing herself as not fully worthy of being She-Ra. Adora internalised how others originally separated herself as former horde member from being the proper hero of Etheria. _(Stranded, Save The Cat, Taking Control, Return to the Fright Zone 5x04-6, 5x10)._

When Adora learns that she might have to give up her life Adora is willing to accept this. This is based on her tendency to place her worth on being able to serve others. Her identity disruption causes her to put herself through stresses and fail to be able to see her wants. We see Catra notice this in the end and try to get Adora to see this, Glimmer and Bow try and at least get her to not give in to dying and Shadow Weaver continues to reinforce this behaviour and schema. Her ability to give herself fully over to saving others and rejection of what she wants and needs in life colours her ability to save others. Her willingness to give herself over and structure identity on this pushes her to save others; it also deeply weakens her. _(Failsafe, 5x11)_

We see Adora breakdown and turn to something very close to suicidal her identity shattered and becoming warped with a dysregulated state and confused objectification. A battle of autonomy and self versus objectification is seen in Adora’s conversation with herself in the form of Mara.

> _Adora: I’m going to save Etheria, no matter what it takes. Your sacrifice won’t be in vain, I promise._
> 
> _Mara: But at what cost? I never wanted to die. I sacrificed myself so you would never have to. Why are you doing this Adora?_
> 
> _Adora: It’s better this way. My friends will be safe. They’ll be happy._
> 
> _Mara: And you? What do you want when this is all over._
> 
> _Adora: I...It doesn’t matter. I’m She-Ra. This is what I'm supposed to do._
> 
> _Mara: You are worth more than what you can give to other people. You deserve love too. (Heart pt 1, 5x12)_

The question of what she wants is a version of the question Catra has been asking and the ideas of her having love is what her friends have been trying to tell her. However, she can not ground herself in these ideas and is too scared and hurt to be able to see this at the time. 

Her core belief of having to earn love and lining her identity outside sources almost gives the planet to Horde Prime. Catra and Adora lose their mother at this point and this along with Adora trying to force Catra away weaken Adora further. 

Being able to see her future and ground herself to Catra's love gives her the will to push against Horde Prime. This is hard due to Adora being unable to see the future as safe from her core belief that the world is scary, but Catra can finally pull Adora back their attachment and love being strong. Only the ability to imagine herself as worthwhile and believing Catra loves her gives her the strength to save the planet. _(Heart pt 2, 5x13)_

A keynote throughout the series is that Adora is most able to ground, build her self concept, shift negative schemas and break her dissociated self-concept when she connects with others. Her connection to others also serves her in health overall and pushes against her tendency to deal with anxiety, depression and dissociation. And when the opposite happens and she loses her healthy attachment to others all of her symptoms of trauma worsen and her ability to make healthy decisions suffers. _(In the Shadows of Mystacor, The Battle of Brightmoon, Ties That Bind, Roll With It, Pulse, Protocol, Mer-Mysteries, Boy’s Night Out, Hero, Fractures, Horde Prime, Launch, Stranded, Save The Cat, Failsafe, Heart pt 1/2, 1x07, 1x13, 2x02, 2x04, 4x04-10, 5x01-2, 5x04-5, 5x11-12)_

##  _Catra_

Catra’s identity issues and negative core beliefs stem from her childhood of abuse and trauma. These identity issues and core beliefs include; being second best, of the word being scary, of her worth being based in others, of punishment being inevitable and life being unfair. Her survival instincts tend towards copying abusive behaviours instead of forming healthy attachments. Catra also struggles to not internalize what others think she ought to be even when she plays the rebel. 

Catra’s Beliefs of the world as unsafe and self-concept are primarily based on Adora & Shadow Weaver’s perception of her. However, others like the cadets and Hordak’s opinions also affect her self concept. _( Sword pt 1/2, Razz, The frozen Forest, Signals, Light Spinner, Reunion, 1x02-3, 2x01, 2x03, 2x06-7)_ We can see the start of these structures in what Shadow Weaver tells Catra about her worth in their childhood. 

> _Shadow Weaver: You have never been anything more than a nuisance to me! I've kept you around this long because Adora was fond of you, but if you ever do anything to jeopardize her future, I will dispose of you myself.” Promise (1x11)_

This set’s her very worth as a person in the way Adora’s was “fond of you [catra]”. We can see how Catra internalised this view and continues to believe this throughout her life. (Remember, The Portal, Princess Prom, Princess Scorpia 1x08, 3x05-6, 4x06). she believes that her self worth and worthiness to even live is based on rather Adora wants her or not _(Corridors, Save The Cat, Taking Control, Failsafe & Heart pt 1, 5x03, 5x05-6& 5x11-12) _

Catra also bases a great deal of her self worth for much of her life on Shadow Weaver’s ability to value her. Catra is deeply hurt that her mother never really cared for her. And tends to fight between believing that she needs Shadow Weaver and doesn’t need her all at the same time. But either way her self worth is based in Shadow Weaver. _(Razz, The Beacon, Light Hope, The Battle of Bright Moon, signals, Light Spinner, Reunion, Once Upon a Time in The Crimson Waste, Failsafe, 1x01-13, 2x03, 2x06, 3x03, 3x06-7,5x11)_

A belief of value as based on power and how much control she can have permeates her actions. She views the world as a power struggle and this affects her ability to see herself holistically. The only thing that starts to matter is how much power she can have. This is due to living in a culture that is built on fear. If Catra shows weakness she fears not only losing her sense of self but also of being hurt. Her schemas of fear permeate all of her actions and perceptions. _(Promise, Light Hope, Light Spinner, Signals, Reunion, Once Upon a Time in the Waste, Moment of Truth, Princess Scorpia, Boys' Night Out, Fractures, Destiny pt1 &2, Horde Prime, & Launch, 1x11-12, 2x03, 2x06-7, 3x03-4, 4x06, 4x08, 4x10-13, & 5x01-2) _

Along with the core belief of the world being unsafe and afraid she also carries the belief that the best option is to be cruel back. If the world is going to constantly hurt her then she ought to hurt the world back. She is scared and angry and has internalized the feelings of terror, anger, hurt confusion and loss as who she is not emotions she has. This is worsened by her dysregulation. Catra’s struggles with depression also reinforce her negative beliefs of worthlessness and abandonment. _(The Beacon, Promise, Light Hope, The Ties That Bind, Signals, White Out, Light Spinner, Reunion, The Price of Power, Once Upon A Time In The Crimson Waste, Moment of Truth, Remember The Portal, The Coronation, Pulse, Princess Scorpia, Boy’s Night Out, Fractures, & Destiny 1/2, 1x10-12, 2x02-3, 2x05-7, 3x01, 2x03,6, 4x01, 4x04, 4x06, 4x08, & 4x10, 4x12-13) _

Catra’s locus of control is malformed, she views herself as lacking much ability to effects everything and sees the world as persecutory towards her. One key moment is during the portal arc. We see it in _Once Upon A Time in The Crimson Waste (3x03)_ when she learns what shadow weaver did, she blames Adora telling her that everything is because of her. During their battle in the collapsing dimension, Catra tells Adora that it is all her fault and that Adora made her into this version of a person, struggling angry person who wants to hurt herself and others. 

_Catra: Let’ face it all of this is your fault. If you hadn’t gotten captured your sword wouldn’t have opened the portal. If you hadn’t gotten the sword and been the world’s worst She Ra, None of this would have happened. Admit it Adora, the world would still be standing if you had never come through that portal in the first place. You made me this. You took everything from me. You broke the world and it is all your fault._

But interestingly this moment that is the height of Catra’s struggle with viewing the world as out of her control, persecutory and without any locus of control is challenged by Adora. 

_Adora: No it’s not. I didn’t make you pull the switch. I didn’t make you do anything. I didn’t break the world, but I am gonna fix it. And you, you made your choice. Now live with it._

_(The Portal 3x06)._

[This conversation is accompanied by Catra assaulting Adora, a show of violence and power even as she renounces her responsibility of the catastrophe but Adora turns this around landing a knockout blow on Catra.]

Throughout season four we mostly see Catra basing her self concept and self-worth on her ability to complete the mission she set for herself. She is seeing herself as the abuser that Shadow Weaver wanted her to be. While she has gained a sense that she can truly impact the world and the confidence to stand up to Hordak she has completely walled herself off. Her connection to Scorpia, a grounding force has been destroyed. This loss worsens her anxiety, paranoia and depression. She is paranoid about how others see her while degrading them wich worsens their opinions of her. She is still wanting to be strong and still has the schema of the world as a dangerous place as well as that she ought to be cruel back. _(The Coronation, The Valley of the Lost, Flutternia, Pulse, Protocol, Princess Scorpia, Boys' Night Out, Fractures, Destiny pt 1 4x01-6, 4x08, 4x10, 4x12)_

However, we do start to see her struggle with the actions she has taken dealing with, guilt, depression and flashbacks. The triggers of abandonment and stress cause her to suffer from enacted implicit memories of complete paranoia. This suffering has her falling apart. _(Flutternia & Boys' Night Out 4x03 & 4x08)_

We see her sense of self shatter almost completely under the weight of failure, depression, rage and pressure from the actions of Hordak and Double Trouble in _Destiny pt 2 (4x13)._

> _Double Trouble: ...I finally figured out your character. You try so hard to play the big, bad villain, but your heart’s never been in it, has it?_
> 
> _Catra: What--? What are you? Stop. Stop it._
> 
> _Double Trouble: People have hurt you, haven’t they? They didn’t believe in you. They didn’t trust you. Didn’t Need you. Left You. But did you ever stop to think maybe they’re not the problem? It’s you. You drive them away wildcat._
> 
> _Catra: Why are you doing this?_
> 
> _Double Trouble: It’s for your own good, darling. We both know this is never what you really wanted._

[Double trouble invades Catra’s personal space and uses their shapeshifting skills to make their words even more destabilizing for Catra]

This interaction with Double Trouble along with the invasion of Horde Prime breaks down Catra and allows her to start rethinking what it is she wants [something she asks of Adora to help her later]. However, it also worsens her depression and has her starting to outwardly believe she is broken and worthless. We do see her natural survival instincts kick in and she continues to try to play the villain but it is never something she can stick to. Catra is afraid and confused and doesn’t want to be dragged around. Her ability to bond with Glimmer shows she still can form an attachment to others and a sign that she cares about Etheria and Adora. _(Horde Prime & Launch 5x1-2) _

Next, we see Horde Prime try to use Catra’s survival instincts against her, pulling on the strings of pain to attempt to get her to give him the information she wants. He uses her leftover connection to Hordak and the threat of physical and spiritual assault to reinforce this survival instinct. Glimmer latches on to Catra’s attachment to Adora and confusion to help get her to make the proper decision asking her 

> _Glimmer: Please Catra, Do one good thing in your life_

Catra’s C-PTSD symptoms are triggered badly during this episode as well. She has multiple vivid memories and flashbacks and we see her flipping between multiple arousal states. The first memory scene starts with the aftermath of Catra hitting Lonnie and Adora trying to get her to explain why and apologize offering to protect her. When Adora asks her to apologise triggers her attack response and she scratches Adora’s face. We see a second memory that offers us an insight into the enmeshment between Adora and Catra along with how and why she gained the feeling of never saying sorry. 

> _Adora: It’s [dinner] the grey kind tonight. I know it’s your favorite._
> 
> _Catra: What are you doing?_
> 
> _Adora: Well if you're missing dinner, then I am, too._
> 
> _Catra: Just go! Eat with your new best friend, Lonnie!_
> 
> _Adora: Is that why you hit her?_
> 
> _Catra: I know you like her better than me. You’re supposed to be my friend._
> 
> _Adora: I am your friend, Catra. I’m always going to be your friend. --- You should say sorry to Lonnie. And then we can all be friends._
> 
> _Catra: [grunting] No._
> 
> _Adora: Come on, Catra._
> 
> _Catra: I’ll never say sorry to anybody, ever._

[We see Catra start by getting a protective stance. When Adora tries to approach at first catra pushes her away with her body showing extreme fear. Then as Adora offers comfort we see Catra’s approach memories activate and she snuggles up to Adora. But when she is suggested to apologize and share the attachment and friendship of Adora her fight response kicks in pushing her friends over and running away]

This memory shows that as a child saying sorry already triggered anger and fear in her. Something that we can connect to shying away from attachment and finding admitting fault and weakness scary. Her protective anger is present as well as seeing all of this relational rupture with Adora based in fear of abandonment and loss of Adora. This memory triggers flashbacks in Catra and the past bleeding to the present. Adora’s friendship has her remember her promise to it always being “me and you” and she realises her lack of saying sorry has always been protective, and a cause of problems. 

Then Catra makes one of her most important decisions and a huge change in how she perceives herself and interacts with others choosing to save Glimmer, apologizing to Adora and offering herself up for assault, abuse or murder. _(Corridors 5x03)_

Catra is spiritually and physically abused by Horde prime and her mind is violated. This offers a huge shift in her identity. Catra’s deep self-belief of worthlessness and weak identity is what Horde Prime uses to try and have her believe she wanted the assault and manipulate Adora. However, she pushes back through with Adora’s help _(Save The Cat, 5x05)_ . Following this Catra protective states of self try to rear their head as her fear of the world and worthlessness has been bolstered and her identity weakened. Adora’s boundaries and kindness, however, remind her why she wanted to shift to vulnerability and having an identity-based in connection and self-worth. She opens up to Adora and her stable identity is reinforced so is an outlook of being there for others versus acting as the abuser she was taught to be. _(Taking Control, Shot in the Dark, An Ill Wind, & Return to the Fright Zone, 5x06, 5x08-10) _

During _Failsafe (5x11)_ we see her be able to remember that question of what do you want trying to get Adora to see it, but her thoughts of being fundamentally unwanted and worthlessness still get in the way of her being connected to Adora and others. Her connection to Adora and ability to question what she wants and how her identity and needs matter can break through Adora’s dissociated objectified self and suicidal thoughts and save everything with their attachment and love. _(Heart pt 1/2 5x12-13)_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Share your thoughts


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